Not Again ~ Reflection #4

Written by Dr. Perry, PhD
Image Credit: MakeItUltra™
Location: Pere Lachaise Cemetery, Paris


This past week was another difficult one. Wildfires are ravaging California again. My parents had to evacuate their home, but thankfully they are safe. So much has been going on that I have had little time to process the recent shooting. On Wednesday, November 7, 2018, there was another senseless mass shooting. This one was close to home, literally. I grew up 10 minutes from Borderline Bar and Grill in Thousand Oaks, California. I attended a school nearby, Cal Lutheran University, for my Master’s degree and this was a place where I would regularly hang out with friends. I have many fond memories of this place that have now been forever altered. I cannot think of Borderline without thinking of all the innocent victims of this shooting. The 12 who died, the countless injured and their families will forever take the place of what were once happy memories. I cannot imagine the horror they experienced; shocked out of happiness by the sound of gunshots. It is just too horrific to put into words.

It was especially painful to hear that among the 12 killed there was a young man who had survived the mass shooting in Las Vegas that took place last year on October 1, 2017. Again, it was just too close to home. Among the 58 people that were shot and killed in Las Vegas, was my friend Chris. I wrote about Chris and decided to remove the post. It is too painful and personal to share.

There is a huge problem in our country. USA Today reported the statistic that there have been 307 mass shootings in 311 days. Think about that statistic. It’s shocking. I can humbly say that I have no idea how to even begin to tackle this problem. I hear different points of view and each has merit. I will leave this to the politicians to fight over.

I am not taking a stance on gun control. That is a personal issue that each and every one of you must look into your conscience and decide what is right for you. This is also not a post about the shooter who may have been mentally ill. There is a crisis in our country regarding the mentally ill, but this is not a post about this issue. This is not a political post. This post is simply written by one human being to another expressing my pain at the incomprehensible actions that are taken by some.

I want to send my prayers to all of the people that have been affected by gun violence, but perhaps this is not enough. I am quoting the mother of the young man who survived the mass shooting in Las Vegas only to encounter and die in another mass shooting, “I don’t want prayers, I don’t want thoughts, I want gun control.” I also want to thank all the brave firefighters who put their lives on the line every time there is another wildfire. I am grateful for my life and will continue to dedicate myself to helping others and sharing positivity.

Kindly,
Dr. Perry

Please note, no political or divisive comments will be allowed.

48 responses to Not Again ~ Reflection #4

  1. Lisa says:

    Beautiful post Dr. Perry. I remember the post you wrote about Chris. Stay strong and thank you ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Anita Bowden says:

    I’m sorry your parents have had to evacuate their home due to the awful wildfires, and I am glad that they are safe. I am also sorry that you have lost a friend to gun violence, and that gun violence has impacted your life in so many ways. Our country needs to do a great deal of self-reflection regarding what is acceptable for a “civilized” society, and also requires a great deal of healing from the extreme pain so many have had to endure. I have to trust that we will figure this all out somehow, because the alternative is just too horrible to imagine. In the meantime, I am so sad for the many losses and tragedy’s that humans are living with every single day. May you and your family remain safe, may you find peace, and may the love you feel for those who have passed always remain in your heart. Thank you for sharing such an important and moving post, Dr. Perry. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  3. JanBeek says:

    Dr. Perry, I appreciate your heartfelt, well articulated post. I understand perfectly that “ this post is simply written by one human being to another expressing [your] pain at the incomprehensible actions that are taken by some.” I feel that same pain – and same frustration at lack of solutions. It’s not an easy problem with easy answers. It’s multi-faceted… and will take complex, thoughtful, long-term problem solving. I pray for divine intervention. We need it!

    Liked by 3 people

  4. HarleyQ2 says:

    It is sad to say that I am becoming numb to “another mass shooting” headline. I have stopped trying to make sense of what these shooters were thinking. The growing darkness in people’s souls defy words. Everyone wants a set answer but my view is no one can give peace to a troubled heart and mind, each person has to seek it for himself.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I remember your post regarding Chris. This must bring back those moments front and center. The scary thing is that there is much darkness pervading our world and many succumb to it instead of asking for help. Please keep posting, because I’m sure your words will make a difference. And thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I sat in church this morning contemplating the mass shootings, and wondering if it would ever happen in our smallish, rural Episcopal church that sits on a main highway. And wondering if others were worshiping in other churches, synagogues and mosques across the nation, wondering the same thing. No venue seems immune to these horrific tragedies, and the only safe place is home. But who wants to live like that? I can’t get my mind around the reason for 307 mass shootings in 311 days.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Idalia says:

    Hi Dr. Perry. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. I greatly enjoy your reflections as it allows me to get a glimpse of the type of man you are. I believe you have a great capacity for love. I wish you and your family well. Blessings🙏🏽

    Liked by 3 people

  8. Maria says:

    Sometimes I find it so difficult to stay positive and engaged in my life. I try to stay afloat if current events but I find the news painful to watch. There is so much violence and anger. I am choosing to put my blinders on and just try to stay focused on my family and friends. You wrote once about leaving people better off after they meet you and I try to do this on a daily basis. I wish only happiness and kindness to everyone.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. mindsoul11 says:

    I can understand your pain Dr. Perry. The region I am from in my country, is also a disturbed place. Bomb-blast’s are a common here. We’ve become accustomed to hearing about it. We cry, yell, protest and write about it. But what can compensate the loss of all those innocent people who died for a mad man’s ideology.
    I pray to God to give strength to the mother of ‘that young victim who survived the lag vegas mass shooting’ at this time of loss and heartbreak.
    Hope your parents are well and fine. You take care of yourself too Dr.Perry. God bless. Thanks for the post.

    Liked by 3 people

  10. autismduniya says:

    We can only try to do good in the moment, as you have expressed so eloquently. Every time I go to a public place these days, I wonder whether I and others around me are safe from these acts of violence; will today be uneventful, I say, before I power on, because what choice do we have. I want everything I do to be with recognition of what a blessing it is to be alive. But that doesn’t negate the fact that others have no right to go on these rampages. We are only as safe as our collective willingness to approach the public sphere with our loving hearts on our sleeves. Be well.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Miriam says:

    Such sad and frightening times we live in. Your post was a poignant and heartfelt tribute to those who lost their lives. Take care

    Liked by 2 people

  12. I can’t imagine what it must be like to live with such violence on an almost every day basis; I know that I can offer no words to comfort you or those who suffer along side you so sending a virtual hugs and hopes that sanity and peace will prevail xx

    Liked by 2 people

  13. I am so sorry for Your personal loss. Your title, ‘Not Again’ says it all. It’s unbearable and overwhelming. Random, heinous violence is far too commonplace now. It shatters my mind and heart. Things have got to change. And I hope Your parents are alright. I lived in CA for many years and have been through scary wildfires/evacuation…that’s such a frightening, helpless-feeling experience. Can’t believe everyone is going through such a horrible situation with all that again so soon after the last one. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  14. I echo your response and that of the mother of one of the victims.
    I live 15 minutes away from where the Pittsburgh synagogue shooting happened in October 27th so I know how it feels to have this happen so close to home.
    I’m afraid I no longer have words for these horrific things that keep happening.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. mdobrogov says:

    I love coming to USA every year. I like people, admire the nature. But this is the only thing i cannot grasp – (mass) shooting. This is so sad, terrifying, unnecessary. Thank God Poland is so much peaceful.
    I hope lots of people will read your post.
    Stay safe!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Dr. Perry, thank you for your post. I live fifteen mins from the shooting in Thousand Oaks, and I am in the middle of all the wildfires. So much destruction, sadness, and displacement happening right now. So many of my friends are evacuated, or their houses are burned down. I had no idea you, and I are literally neighbors. My family and I are safe, not sure how that happened as I live in HIGH fire myself but the wind decided to take another road as it started right over my hill when I first saw it. Again, thanks for your heartfelt words. Shanti

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Ilka says:

    I have also read of this statistic: 307 mass shootings in 311 days. Word fail me for it right now.
    Please continue sharing positivity – we all should keep doing this. Together we will build a new world. We build it first in our hearts and minds. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  18. God bless you in this difficult time. So sorry about the loss of your friend Chris in last year’s violence. Most people with mental health challenges will never commit a violent act; people who commit these acts are hurting, and choose to turn their hurt onto other people. I thank you for taking your pain and using it to promote peace.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. So glad to hear you and your family are safe. I was quite.. rumbled inside if you will, by the recent shooting at the yoga studio as well. I live and teach in Florida. Sending you and your family good vibes 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  20. I appreciate your heartfelt post and have no words that can help or make sense of it all. We seem to be surrounded by tragedy. I am very sorry for your personal loss of a friend and that your parents had to evacuate because of the fires. I also appreciate that you keep your posts positive and in the spirit of helping others.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Dear Doctor Perry, I very much resonate with your heartfelt comments. American culture has definitely taken a dark and dangerous turn since the dawn of the New Millennium that is clearly worrisome. In my optimism, I had imagined that global culture would be more enlightened as the New Millennium got under way, but unfortunately that is not the case. I understand why you do not wish to politicize gun issues. Saying anything, one way or another, seems to invite upset or outright hostility. Like you, I want to promote positivity and hopefully contribute to raising the level of discourse between people. After all, we are in this together and must make every effort to inspire each other to create a better, more peaceful, world. Keep up the good work. Your posts are appreciated!

    Liked by 1 person

  22. karen says:

    So shocking and desperately sad. It’s heartbreaking to hear about these terrible events. I’m so sorry for your parents too, and your loss. I recall the piece on Chris. Thinking of you all. We must all back one another up and help each other. Only when we work together can we make any headway.

    Liked by 1 person

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