Thinking Topic of the Week: Guilt VS Shame


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10 responses to Thinking Topic of the Week: Guilt VS Shame

  1. Vernon says:

    You explained them well.
    I think it’s very important to know the differences so we can live freely.
    The key is learning how to forgive yourself. I carried a lot of shame when my ex and I went through a divorce.
    But by openly sharing my feeling and thoughts with a trusted friend, I was able to see the part I played in it and that moved me from shame to guilt.
    Now I was in the solution rather than self-loathing in the problem.
    Thanks for the clarity.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. I felt a lot of shame growing up. It was caused by the way my mother spoke to me when she was upset over something I’d done. Rather than tell me what I’d done wrong and why it was wrong, she made it seem the I was just a bad person.
    In raising my daughters I would focus on the action or behavior that was unwanted. Saying something like “hitting is not ok, hitting hurts” rather than “only bad children hit”. The first statement​ would cause guilt & an apology. The second statement would cause shame, making the child feel they were “bad”.

    Liked by 5 people

  3. Cynthia Lynn says:

    The Art of feeling GUILTY staring, Cynthia. I sometimes take someone else’s guilt and make it my own. I really am trying to let go of my dysfunctional bond with guilt, but I just haven’t yet found the right video.

    This shame, I have carried for my lifetime, it is that one dirty secret I have just recently took a deep breath and spoke its name, child sexual abuse, and a one-time unwarranted case of incest or maybe two. My logical mind knows I am not at fault but my rational mind asks why were you so stupid to let it happen over and over and … after decades of therapy not once did I ever admit to being molested, in fact, I was never asked. Shame feels disgusting on the inside.

    Liked by 2 people

    • MakeItUltra™ says:

      Thank you for sharing your personal insight on this topic Cynthia. Please feel free to reach out directly if you feel I can be of assistance to you. Best wishes ✨

      Like

  4. Interesting concept. I never seriously thought about the difference between the two. I believe self-respect and a good self-esteem helps those intense feelings. At least to keep them from ruining your life, your future. Thanks

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Jen says:

    I experienced this earlier today. I didn’t get a chance to give my dad a proper goodbye, and I felt like a rotten person for hours. However since I knew it was my social anxiety shaming me for something that was out of my control, I took action and kind of turned it into guilt instead. I called my dad, and let him know what I was feeling and made sure to tell him I love him. My shame melted away, and I felt better.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. CornerED says:

    I’ve grown up with both and it was a big contribution to my eating disorder. This is so true. I didn’t start processing all of this until I was in treatment.

    Liked by 1 person

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