By Eric Charles, MA., PhD-c
“Hold faithfulness and sincerity as first principles.” ~Confucious
1. Pay attention to detail
Let’s face it, people love to be noticed. Whenever you meet someone new, take a moment to identify what makes them unique. Make sure to look for positive attributes so you don’t end up pointing out that someone has poor posture or dirty shoes. Maybe they have a nice smile or pretty eyes. Everyone likes a compliment when it is sincere. I am always looking for something special about every person I meet. And, I will never hesitate to let them know what I find!
2. Ask people about their passion
Who doesn’t like to talk about their passion? Not only will you come across as more likable because you are happily letting someone else take center stage, but you can learn a lot about who they are! It can be quite beautiful seeing someone talk about their passion. And, don’t be afraid to share your passion with them too. You will always shine brightest when talking about something you love!
3. Do small (5 minute) favors
We will always be more likable when we can be flexible with our time. It is always a nice gesture when someone takes a moment to help another person. Maybe you have a skill that no one else does. Why not take five minutes to help someone in need? Sometimes a five minute favor can be asking how someone’s day is going. A lot can happen in five minutes. Like my Dad still tells me, “People are like comets, a single touch can send them in an entirely new direction.”
4. Use a flooding smile
When you greet someone, don’t start off with a huge enthusiastic smile. First, with a neutral and natural expression, make eye contact with the person. Second, identify who they are. And third, slowly flood a warm and pleasant smile in their direction. It makes sense doesn’t it? Here is what most people do. They see a person and greet them with a smile that is bigger than life. That is great if you are in sales. But, when it comes to likability, sincerity is your best friend. If you are the one receiving the smile wouldn’t you want to know that it is not a one size fits all kind of smile?
5. Meet people where they are
When people come to you with their problems it is important to remember they are not necessarily looking for you to provide a solution. In general, people just want to know that someone hears and understands them. By saying, “wow, that sounds really difficult,” you will accomplish 100 times more than by saying, “really? here is what I think you should do!” It’s simple, meet them where they are at.
Verified by Psychology Today
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