By Dr. Perry, PhD
“Happiness must be grown in one’s own garden.” ~Mary Engelbreit
Life is complicated. One day we open our eyes and find ourselves in a life that we have no idea how we entered into willingly. We have painted ourselves into the proverbial corner with no window or door for escape. This is how many people describe feeling when they come to realize that their life partner is a narcissist. Perhaps you have a family and co-own assets with a narcissist and like many, feel you cannot leave or are not ready to leave your narcissistic partner. Life is never as simple as walking out a door and finding a new life waiting. I propose that whatever present situation you are in, you can regain your power and learn to enjoy and live your present life. Don’t give up and think this is all life has to offer.
Here are 5 things to remember.
1. Manage the narcissist
Learn to manage the narcissist in your life by gray rocking (To see my post, “How to Gray Rock a Narcissist” Click here) them and cutting the narcissistic supply. Find someone that specializes in narcissists that can help you learn the necessary tools.
2. Nurture yourself
BE SELFISH. It is time that you focus on your own life. If you have been in a long term relationship with a narcissist, you have probably forgotten about your own dreams and plans.
3. Be aware of assets and debts
Make sure you are aware of all family assets and debts. If you have assets together in California, all property is subject to community property upon divorce or death. This means you own half of all assets as well as debts. One spouse can never give away or sell any community property without the other spouse signing off on the transaction. Consult with an attorney in your area to learn your rights.
4. Never sign anything without proper counsel
Never sign anything that your narcissist is pressuring you to sign without consulting with a licensed attorney. You must remember the golden rule. The narcissist only cares about himself and will not be thinking about what is in your best interest.
5. Seek individual therapy in your area
Therapy will help you remember who you are. After years of narcissistic abuse you are likely to feel lost, defeated and confused. It is important that you get your bearings and start empowering yourself.
You need to remember that you are stronger than the narcissist in your life. Initially, the reason he or she chose you to feed on is because of your strength. You need to take your inner strength and energy and start feeding yourself.
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