How to Let Go of the Need to Control Others

Written by Dr. Perry, PhD Image Credit: Pixabay “Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be.” ~Thomas Kempis Many of us attempt to do the impossible on a daily basis. In an effort to prove that we have control over our lives we try to control everything in our environment including the people around us. Essentially, we are trying to control our inner lifeRead more

Are You in Control of Your Life?

Written by Dr. Perry, PhD Image Credit: Pixabay “It is our attitude toward events, not events themselves, which we can control.” ~Epictetus Every morning before I head to the office, I go online and check the traffic report. I mentally rehearse my drive, avoiding all congested roadways, and check my backup route just in case. I have a cup of coffee, check my watch, and briefcase in hand, dash through the front door. I try to control my exposure toRead more

L.E.T. G.O.™ of Toxic Relationships

Written by Dr. Perry, PhD Image Credit: Pixabay “Toxic people attach themselves like cinder blocks tied to your ankles, and then invite you for a swim in their poisoned waters.” ~John Mark Green I would like to share with you an acronym that I created for my patients who are dealing with the effects of a toxic relationship. This acronym is a reminder to not form an attachment to an unhealthy bond by giving it your time and energy. The relationshipRead more

What Are You Psychologically Projecting?

Written by Dr. Perry, PhD Image Credit: Pixabay “If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn’t part of ourselves doesn’t disturb us.” ~Herman Hesse Do you view the world through the sunny optimism of rose-colored lenses or is the tint of your worldview darker and more gloomy? One’s view of the world has a lot to do with the internal script created by one’s unconscious mind. You are both the author,Read more

Living Life One Pause at a Time

By Dr. Perry, PhD Image Credit: Pixabay “There is only one world, the world pressing against you at this minute. There is only one minute in which you are alive, this minute here and now. The only way to live is by accepting each minute as an unrepeatable miracle.” ~Anonymous What if all we are is a fleeting and fragile physical manifestation of our thoughts; unconnected floating ideas that bind together to form the physical representation of your self andRead more

What Is Your Attachment Style?

Written by Dr. Perry, PhD Image Credit: Pixabay “What’s love got to do with it?” ~Tina Turner Humans are born helpless. Unlike other life forms such as insects that are born with fully developed brains and must immediately fend for themselves, we are born totally defenseless. We are unable to walk, talk or feed ourselves. Our cognitive functions are limited and some studies suggest that full brain development does not occur until we are 25 years of age. Further studiesRead more

How to Deal with a Co-worker Who Won’t Stop Talking

Written by Dr. Perry, PhD Image Credit: Pixabay “If my headphone are in, I am probably trying to do some work.” ~Anonymous I was in an office setting this past week. As I spoke to the receptionist her co-worker was loudly sharing a personal story. I could tell the receptionist was uncomfortable and was trying to get her co-worker to stop talking. I found myself not only listening to very personal details of someone’s life but incredibly I was also being askedRead more

Is Gratitude Overrated?

Written by Dr. Perry, PhD Image Credit: Pixabay “Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson I have been told by more than one patient that the word “gratitude” has become very cliche. They are constantly being told to be grateful as if it is a fix all toRead more

How to Turn Negative Urges into Positive Actions

Written by Dr. Perry, PhD Image Credit: Pixabay “Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one.” ~Hans Selye Sublimation is a subconscious psychological defense mechanism whereby we take a negative impulse and channel it into a positive behavior. This is similar to displacement (click here to refer to my earlier post on displacement) but instead of taking a negative impulse, such as aggression towards one’s boss, and displacing that negative feeling onto an innocent third partyRead more

The Psychological Defense Mechanism of Displacement

Written by Dr. Perry, PhD Image Credit: Pixabay “Turning feelings into words can help us process and overcome adversity.” ~Sheryl Sandberg Our emotional responses to everyday life events do not always take a linear path from perception to a reaction. Every day we encounter an endless assembly line of external stimuli that we must quickly access, process and classify. Our brains must categorize these happenings and life moments quickly in order to respond appropriately. Often our subconscious will identify some event asRead more